Some people are really good at cleaning up and clearing things out.

They routinely make room for new items by donating, recycling, or discarding items they don’t wear or use anymore.

Others unsubscribe from email lists that no longer have value.

13 time-tested ways to get kicked out of a Facebook group

And still others vow to reduce the number of Facebook groups they participate in so they have more time for other activities.

Does that describe you?

If you need to spend less time in online discussions, here are 13 ways to get kicked out of a Facebook group. As the owner of one group and moderator of another, I promise any combination of them will work.

1. Don’t read the group rules.

Rules are for everybody else, right?

If you want to stick around, look for the rules in the group’s “About” section.

“I don’t like it when people come straight into a group with an agenda and don’t read the group rules,” says Heather Townsend, a former co-moderator of the 13,000-plus-member Self-Publishing and Book Marketing group.

In that group, as soon as you post something that’s against the rules, moderators remove your post and give a warning. Do it again, and you’re g-o-n-e.

2. Preface your post with: “Delete if not allowed.”

This is an offshoot of “don’t read the group rules.”

Groups that prohibit specific types of posts share that information in the group rules. If you’re not sure if the rules allow the post you want to share, read them.

Or, send a moderator or admin a direct message describing what you’d like to post and ask if it’s allowed.

Otherwise, you’re asking moderators to do your thinking for you.

Is that fair for these volunteers? Is it smart? Nope and nope.

3. Be blatantly self-promotional in a no-promotion group.

Just because some Facebook groups exist to allow authors to post “buy my book” and “my book is on sale” and “my book was just published” messages doesn’t mean all author groups do. (My Build Book Buzz Book Marketing Group does not because it’s a discussion group.)

“I’m annoyed when members engage in self-promotion, whether it’s in a group that I manage or in someone else’s group. It’s inappropriate, especially within a group that someone else is running,” says Marcia Turner, who runs a secret group for members of the Association of Ghostwriters as well as the private WomensNet group with 22,600-plus members.

Some groups allow it, some don’t. If you want to get kicked out, don’t check the rules first before posting your sales pitch.

4. Be subtly self-promotional in a no-promotion group.

You know who you are in those groups that ban promotional posts….

YOU: “I’ve just created a course that I think is perfect for you guys, but I’m not sure what to call it. What do you think of these options?”

YOU later that week: “Thanks so much for helping me with the course title! Here’s what I ended up with — and here’s the link where you can buy it! You guys rock! xoxo”

MODERATOR: “Buh-bye.”

5. Always be a taker; never a giver.

Ask for help or advice, but don’t help anyone out or share useful information. You’re busy, right?

Granted, as newbies, many of us don’t feel qualified to answer questions or help others. But we can contribute in other important ways:

• Congratulate someone posting about a success.
• Thank someone for sharing information you found interesting or helpful.
• Provide an opinion when it’s requested.

For the most part, though, this one is more of a problem when combined with the tactic number 6, up next. Doing both together repeatedly will help you get kicked out of any Facebook group.

6. Never say “thank you.”

I’ll admit that as someone who automatically says “thank you” to Siri, this is a pet peeve.

That’s why it gets you escorted to the virtual door quickly in any group I manage.

It’s easy to pull off, too! Just ask lots of questions, grab the answers offered by group members, and solve your problem without bothering to thank the people who helped.

It might take you a while to establish this rude pattern, but it will get noticed.

7. Ask for opinions, then argue with everyone who responds.

If the real reason for your request is to validate your perspective, you might want to rethink posting because you might not get what you seek.

“It’s annoying when they ask for help, then argue with the person who gave feedback they don’t like,” says Townsend.

To use this approach to get kicked out so you don’t have to quit, be sure to respond with comments that include, “You don’t understand,” “My situation is different,” and “It’s too late to change that.”

8. Confuse the group with Google.

Here’s the best way to use the group rather than doing any research on your own: Join a group dedicated to your new favorite interest, topic X. Then, post, “Hi! I’m new to this group. I don’t know anything about topic X. What can you tell me?”

From what I’ve seen, most members know at least a little about topic X before joining. They use the group to learn more about a specific aspect of it, talk about a topic they enjoy discussing, or get ideas.

If you want to leave, though, admit that you haven’t done any research on your own, but are looking forward to everyone in the group sharing everything they’ve learned with you in long and detailed answers to your nonspecific questions.

9. Hijack the discussion. A lot.

Someone who hijacks the discussion adds a comment or asks a question that’s off-topic or unrelated to the discussion. It’s the online version of interrupting to change the subject while someone is speaking.

“For example, someone posts, ‘What one marketing technique has been the most effective for you?’ and a member responds, ‘Whatever you do, don’t follow Jane Doe’s advice. I bought her system and although it promised to show me how to do X, Y, and Z, it didn’t work,’ — and X, Y, and Z have nothing do with marketing,” says Turner.

But don’t do this just once or twice. Moderators look for patterns in behavior, so do it regularly if you want to get kicked out of a Facebook group.

10. Share information from a private group outside the group.

Some groups prohibit this (see tactic number 1, above).

“In many cases, people in the group paid for access to useful information shared there and having it become public knowledge reduces the value of that group membership,” says Turner.

In addition to the fact that group membership might be linked to something the member spent money on, including training programs or professional association memberships, the “don’t share outside the group” rule often exists to protect member privacy.

11. Attack the moderator.

This is more common than common sense would suggest.

When I recently — and gently — asked a new group member a few questions about the group she was asking our members to join*, she immediately went on the attack.

(*Unrelated to my conversation with this poster but worth noting: It’s bad form to use one group’s hard work growing a group to build a membership for another.)

I’m all for debate, discourse, and other d-words, but she was so off-base and inappropriate — and I was so not in the mood to even think about why she was so hostile so quickly — that I simply removed her from the group.

Nobody’s paying me to take abuse from Facebook groupies.

12. Offer bad advice with great confidence.

Why know what you’re talking about when you can just fake it?

Moderators often have significant topic expertise, so they can spot posers pretty quickly. (Pro tip: They’re often the people with the loudest voices.)

When repeated misinformation from a member threatens to harm group members, posers will have be escorted to the door.

13. Bully people.

At first, I thought the bully in the Build Book Buzz group might be having a few bad days. When the nastiness continued and a favorite member left because of it, I had to act and ban the bully.

Fortunately, the member who felt forced out returned when I apologized for waiting too long to take action.

I learned from that experience.

I’ve watched many group moderators show zero tolerance for bullying, so when you’re ready to be shown the door, just verbally abuse one or two people.

How to remain in your favorite group

Trying just one of these tricks on occasion is not a deal-breaker. 

So, if you want to get kicked out of a Facebook group, you’ll have to do several of them frequently. That will help you establish a pattern that’s hard to overlook.

What’s the best way to stay in a group and possibly even get invited to be a moderator? Apply what you learned in kindergarten:

• Say please and thank you.
• Be nice to others.
• Be helpful.

If you want to do this while discussing book marketing topics, we’d love to have you in the Build Book Buzz Facebook group. It’s a great group of smart people who are willing to share what they’ve learned. Join us!

What group behavior bothers you? What behavior makes you applaud? Please tell us in a comment!

(Editor’s note: This article was first published in January 2018. It has been updated and expanded.)

I have long been a big supporter of LinkedIn groups because I always learned so much from the discussions. Because of that, I invested a significant amount of my social media time in group discussions — until LinkedIn redesigned the site in early 2017.

That’s when the group chatter just stopped.

LinkedIn groups seemed to disappear

The first clue that groups were in trouble after the redesign was that I couldn’t find them. I had to use Google to locate the 20 or so groups where I am (or was . . .) the most active.

Since then, group discussions have practically disappeared. A group post that might have generated 48 comments two years ago might get three or four, now. I truly, truly miss those discussions.

Traffic from LinkedIn to this blog has dropped, too. In the first quarter of 2016, LinkedIn was a top traffic source for this site. That volume started declining in the first quarter of last year after the site redesign and today? It’s about half of what it used to be.

Authors have noticed a difference

I asked the Build Book Buzz Facebook group members if they had noticed the change (it’s no coincidence that the group is on Facebook, not LinkedIn). Those who used to be active in the groups did see a difference, of course. One group owner said she created a new group for her community on Facebook because of the dropoff in group member participation on LinkedIn.

With confirmation that others had noticed a disappointing drop in LinkedIn group activity, I did a quick online search to see what I could learn about the what and why behind this apparent effort to kill off the social network’s groups.

Search results were initially discouraging — most had reached the same conclusion that I did — until I came across “LinkedIn Set to Bring Back Groups from the Dead (But, Why?“) on Inc.com.

Notice that, “But, why?” in the title.

The “why” is that they were amazingly useful before LinkedIn messed things up.

I emailed a LinkedIn publicist twice to confirm the article’s report that there would be “a renewed focus on groups” but never got a response.

What I did get two weeks later, however, was an invitation to the “LinkedIn Groups Listening Tour” in one of the company’s three offices in San Francisco, Toronto, and New York. I’m interpreting that as a sign that the company actually is trying to breathe life into groups.

Ask the expert

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I contacted my friend Wayne Breitbarth, author of The Power Formula for LinkedIn Success, to get his opinion about the future of LinkedIn groups.

“I am hopeful, but there is a real lack of caring right now from the members so it will take some real emphasis and focus” he says, adding,”I haven’t seen enough from them since the big January announcement. I do hear of some smaller groups still operating efficiently, but that is the exception rather than the rule.”

To quote The Clash, “Should I stay or should I go?”

Should we abandon LinkedIn groups? Or should we wait a little longer while the company begins to implement changes promised in January before making a decision?

“If you find a group that is being managed well and the membership is still made up of the right folks for you, stick with it and post, share, and engage in what is going on and try to take those interactions on to connections and then to phone calls or email or meetings,” Breitbarth advises.

He notes that people in groups can message 15 group members per month even if they’re not connected to each other.

“That’s like getting 15 InMails free from LinkedIn each month,” he adds.

What are your other options?

That’s not to say you shouldn’t be looking at other options, though.

“If your audience is on Facebook, I would probably move in that direction because of a general lack of LinkedIn showing they truly care about this part of the platform,” Breitbarth says.

Are you still using LinkedIn groups, as I am? What are you seeing with them? Are they fading away, or surviving?