Or do you – like so many – take on what you might see as a more literary demeanor online or in your newsletter because you think readers expect that of someone with the title “author?”

If you’re not being your true self, please reconsider.

I’ll explain why using a recent experience I had.

So I signed up for a newsletter . . .

I regularly add myself to email lists to study “lead magnets” (those incentives offered to give up your name and email address) and how marketers communicate with their lists.

I did this last week at a site owned by a woman who teaches people how to earn money as freelance writers – “even if you have NO experience!” As someone who does have experience, I was interested in what she had to share.

But I’m not so interested anymore.

It was clear in the first email I received that I’m not in her target audience – I’m not her ideal reader.

How do I know that?

She said what?

It was clear to me that we weren’t a good match because while being herself, the marketer used an “f-bomb” in the second sentence.

Don’t get me wrong. I can swear with the best of them – and I do (too much, in fact).

But when I’m in work mode, I don’t want f-bombs in my inbox.

If I had taken the time to read her “about” page before adding myself to her list, I would have known what to expect. Her sort-of bio includes “asshole,” “what the actual ‘f-bomb’,” and “shit sundae.” (Can you believe I found an image of that?)

I’ll confess that the f-bomb in her opener did keep me reading, though, because I wanted to see what else would make me think, “We aren’t a good fit.”

Don’t call me lazy

I found it a few paragraphs and a dozen emojis later.  

The marketer’s message included a link to a video and this text: “If you need to XXX but you’re too lazy to watch a 16-minute YouTube video that will literally walk you through how to XXX, you’re probably too lazy to XXX.” (I replaced specifics with XXX to protect her identity.)

Substitute “busy” for “lazy” and she might have been speaking to me.

But she wasn’t. And that’s OK.

This is how it should be. She doesn’t want to continually email someone who will never buy from her, regardless of the reason.

It’s not just me!

One of my author subscribers had a similar experience last year.

She added herself to the list of a young male marketer who, she quickly learned, used foul language and imagery in his emails. She wondered what to do about it.

I advised her to unsubscribe from his list.

Easy enough, right? Poof! The offensive content is gone.

By being himself, the marketer targeting authors was appealing to someone like him – young, male, crude. He might have been doing this intentionally because those are the people he wants to work with — or he might not have even been thinking about that.

Regardless, it was clear that my author friend, a baby boomer female, wasn’t his ideal reader.

Be you

What can you learn from our experiences and others like them?

To be yourself.

Just be yourself in your email newsletter, on your blog, and on social media.

This is important because research shows that birds of a feather actually do flock together. People gravitate to people who like the same things they do.

That includes books.

You will attract the right readers

So if you like what you write – if you’re writing the types of books you like to read – then others who are comfortable with your style and personality will be attracted to you and your work.

Stop striving to be like another author you admire. Sure, you can use some of the same strategies and tactics if that author is successful, but while doing so, put your own spin on it.

Remain true to you, whether you’re an f-bomb dropper or wouldn’t swear in public if your life depended on it.

Let the real you shine through. You are enough. You are the you we want to hear from.

Have you had an experience like ours and realized that you weren’t a good fit based on the marketer/author/consultant’s personality? What did you see that showed you that?