Katy, that would make me NUTS! Can you imagine trying to have a real-life conversation with that man? Your experience echoes mine: The people who know the least have the loudest voices in these groups. If the moderators are paying attention, they’ll take action eventually.

And I LOVE that groups like this exist! How very cool! This reminds me of when I was an outside writer for a foundation-funded initiative to improve the quality of care at the end of life. One of the programs under the large project umbrella connected doctors with medical and legal drama scriptwriters, etc., to help them more accurately depict the emotional and physical aspects of dying, along with some of the ethical concerns, like assisted suicide. It was important work considering the popularity of these TV shows, and the medical consultants truly made a difference.

You’ve given me an idea for a blog post. I’d love to compile a list of FB groups like the one you’ve mentioned. If you’re comfortable doing so, please share group names here or in an email to me (sbATbuildbookbuzz.com).

Thanks!

Sandy

Here’s another lesson, Chantelle: I don’t recommend messaging the moderator and saying you’re sorry, thanking them again, etc. You’re unintentionally creating more work for them. These types of “what did I do wrong” messages can sometimes feel like push back, too, and no moderator has time to argue with a member about rules and decisions. This means you won’t get any answers about what you did “wrong,” but do you really need them? All you need to do is learn from the experience and move on.

Sandy

Thank you so much for the advice much appreciated 🙏 I will most definitely wait for the welcome wagon before expressing my thanks in future 😄 I did msg the moderater and apologised if I had broken any rules and that if I had done something wrong could he let me know what so I can avoid it in the future and thanked them again for including me. I did a bit of research after and it does indeed seem like the younger generations find this ‘selfish’ and ‘attention grabbing’ which I find sad as I honestly just like to make people smile and thank them for the hard work they’ve done, the scary thing is I’m not exactly older only in my early 30s but I guess it was the way I was raised, and lack of time spent on social media as well. Live and learn as they say 😆 thank you for such a speedy reply by the way and your kind words 🙏

How odd. I’m sorry that happened to you! I can’t speak for that group’s owner, admin, or moderator, so I don’t know why they made that decision. I suspect, though, that it’s a very large group. Those of us with smaller, more intimate, groups like to get to know our members and aren’t bothered by these things.

But in your shoes, I’d view it as a lesson and not repeat it in any other group. Most groups do a regular “welcome new members” post (I do it weekly in my Build Book Buzz Book Marketing Group); that’s the best time to say “thanks.” I’m also an admin for another much larger group, and while I’d never delete such a post or put the member in a “time out,” I will say that it’s just one more post to scroll past, and in large groups w/a lot of activity, some people won’t like that.

The other piece is that saying thanks — as heartfelt and polite as it is — doesn’t add to the quality of the group’s content. Maybe those people are too focused on that.

Not much help, right? Keep on being a nice, polite person, but just don’t say “thanks” when you join a group!

Sandy

oh and i double checked the rules just to make sure i hadnt missed something and there is zero mention discouraging people from posting their thanks, anyway i just want to make sure i abide by the right etiquette and dont get kicked out of any other groups the same day i get accepted haha

Maybe it’s your attitude? LMFAOMA

Sandy